Networking: Don’t Do This. Instead, Do This.
Written by Wilson Wong
Networking at SocialNext: Ottawa 2025 - Photo by Mat Higgins-Savidant
I went to a networking event recently and the rule was simple. Do not come to sell. It is a casual meet up of like minded people who want to share stories and connect. I enjoy going because it is a chance to catch up with old friends and meet new ones.
But that night reminded me why so many people hate networking. Especially introverts. Surface level conversations that drain your energy. Awkward moments where you would rather stay home and chill with your cat. Even hearing the word “networking” sometimes makes me want to gag because it has such a transactional feeling to it. It never sounds like something people genuinely look forward to.
And here is the thing. None of us were taught how to network. School teaches you theories, craft and how to do the work. It never teaches you how to build trust from the moment you meet someone. But that first conversation tells you a lot. You can often tell right away if this is someone you would want to work with or not.
I used to be a full introvert and yes, events like this were exhausting. Over time I became more of an ambivert because of a decision I made years ago that changed how I approached networking. That story is for another day, but here is what I have learned.
Networking is a skill. Anyone can learn it. And it becomes a lot more enjoyable when you stop treating people like transactions.
These tips are for students, introverts, new grads, young professionals and even seasoned pros who want networking to feel less awkward and more like a real human conversation.
Don’t do this… Instead, do this
1. Don’t sell.
Nobody wants to be pitched five minutes after meeting you. People can smell it from a mile away.
Instead: Start a real conversation.
Look for someone who might also be there on their own. They are usually open to chatting. Ask something simple like “How are you finding the event so far.”
I once met someone in an elevator after an event and simply asked, “Did you get what you expected out of that.” It led to a great conversation that naturally revealed what they do without forcing it.
2. Don’t talk only about yourself.
There is a time and place to share who you are, but too much too soon pushes people away.
Instead: Talk less, listen more.
Ask about their passions, challenges, stresses, wins or hopes. People are far more interesting than their LinkedIn headlines.
3. Don’t ask “What do you do.”
It is the default question, but it rarely leads anywhere meaningful. The conversation stalls fast.
Instead: Be curious and skip the small talk.
Go a layer deeper. Ask questions that open up real conversation.
“What made you choose this path.”
“What has been the highlight of your week.”
“What are you excited about right now.”
4. Don’t focus on what you can get.
If your mindset is transactional, people feel it immediately.
Instead: Offer value.
Ask what they are working on that is stressing them out. If you have the expertise, offer help or share a story that might support them. Keep it balanced. Listen more than you talk.
5. Don’t ignore social cues.
If someone starts turning away or scanning the room, they are done.
Instead: Read the room.
If they lean in or maintain eye contact, you are clicking. Follow the energy, not the script.
6. Don’t try to impress.
Performance kills authenticity.
Instead: Be yourself.
Show up honestly. People respond to real energy much more than polished lines.
7. Don’t worry about saying the perfect thing.
Most people will not remember your exact words anyway.
Instead: Make people feel heard and seen.
People rarely remember what you said, but they always remember how you made them feel.
8. Don’t expect anything from the event.
If you show up hoping for leads or opportunities, you will leave disappointed.
Instead: Expect nothing and stay open.
The only question you should ask yourself is, how many people can I help today.
This applies online too
If someone connects with me on Linkedin and their first message is a sales pitch, I remove them right away. I know I am just a transaction to them. The same principles apply everywhere. Be human. Be curious. Focus on connection, not conversion.
Networking should feel natural, human and real. That is the whole point.
What about you
Do you have any networking tips that have worked for you? I would love to hear them.
Connect with Wilson on LinkedIn to share your networking tips!
About the Author:
Wilson Wong is a brand and creative strategist who helps organizations find clarity, shape their story, and connect with people in meaningful ways. With over two decades of experience, including as Co-Founder and Creative Director at Everbrave, he’s led brand and marketing initiatives that blend creativity, strategy, and data to drive impact. His work with CalgaryMovies.com strengthened Calgary’s film community and helped bring the FascinAsian Film Festival to the city, alongside co-founding the Chinatown Pop-Up Movie Club to celebrate culture and shared stories.
Today, Wilson continues to collaborate with organizations and creative teams to build purposeful brands and experiences. He sits on the Board of Directors for Design Talks and contributes to SocialWest as a speaker, host, and guest curator, where he created the SocialNext Creator Series, an engaging and hands-on experience that helps audiences elevate their creative game.
Shaniece MacNeil